The "Nantes-guy-on-a-bench" story

Only about a thousand years later am I sitting down to write this story. I am subtitling it: how to lie to the French.

So I go to Nantes for a day while I was in the country, because...why not? After sightseeing and general goofing around, I decide to get some ice cream and kill some time before My train. I find a little ice cream shop, get a double scoop cone and walk until I find a bench. I sit down and mind my own business, just...eating my ice cream.

I see a guy turn the corner, eye my bench and sit down next to me. I think nothing of this. He is wearing acceptable clothes, he seems clean and smiles as he sits down, so I assume he is neither drunk nor homeless so I am not concerned. After a minute or two he asks me what time it is.

I pull out my phone and start to say 14h30, he says, before I even finish my thought, you are absolutely gorgeous. I say thank you, and go back to awkwardly eating my ice cream and not making eye contact. He then scoots a little closer on the bench and asks me if I'm British. I see no point in telling this man anything about myself and I'm hoping that he will see my disinterest and leave me to eat my ice cream in peace so I just say, yep I'm british. (lie #1) he then asks if I have a boyfriend.
-Yes, I do, in fact. (lie #2)
-do you want to go get a drink with me?
-Ummm I can't. I just said I have a boyfriend (reinforce the lie)
-well he isn't here. You could be my girlfriend. How old are you?
-27 (lie #3)
- me too.
- cool....
- so what does your boyfriend do?
-he works in finance.(details about lie #2) he is moving here tomorrow. We're going to live together.

(I seriously don't want to leave this bench because it's in a perfect location, lots of shade, pretty view and I still have 1/3 of an ice cream come to eat so I'm hoping this seals the deal on his realizing I am NOT interested.)

- but he isn't here right now. You are so pretty. Please get a drink with me.
- i'm sorry. He wouldn't like it.
- can we just be friends?

(I realize there is no saving my perfect bench location and that I would have saved myself time and awkwardness had I just gotten up in the first place. I wave a white flag.)

- I'm sorry I have to go pick up my children (lie 4).
- you have kids?
- yep I'm a mother of 4 (lie #5) Bye!

And I walked away as fast as I could without seeming suspicious, holding a melting ice cream cone and cursing my inability to be rude to strangers.