Parc Asterix; the coldest I've ever been

For the teenagers birthday, she asked me to go with her and her friend to a theme park just outside of Paris. I hear 'theme park outside of Paris' and my brain goes like this:

OMGPARISDISNEYWORLDICANTWAITTOGOIVENEVERBEENTOREALDISNEYWORLDIMFREAKINGOUTIHOPEIMEETSLEEPINGBEAUTY!!!!!!!!!

My princess dreams are cut short when she says she wants to go to Parc Asterix, a French theme park based on a French comic book about a time traveling Viking and his friends. (I think) but hey, of course I'll go, sounds awesome!

I agree to go the Saturday that they ask me to because; hey, free theme park with roller coasters? Why not. So I get up at 6:30 on a Saturday (not fun) and we take the metro to the louvre and board a bus that will take about an hour to get Parc Asterix and bring us back at 6:30. It doesn't open until 10 so we wait just a little bit until the park opens. It's a little chilly and cloudy, which was concerning but I decide to think nothing of it.

We go ride the big roller coasters first before the lines get long. There were about 2-3 big roller coasters, definitely nowhere near as big as the roller coasters that I have been on, but they were okay. Around the end 3rd roller coaster it starts pouring down rain. I go on one more roller coaster with the girls were I got drenched down to my absolute bones. Not a single inch of me was dry.

I immediately started shivering, we wandered around the park for a while until deciding to have lunch and warm up. The food at this amusement park/ the set up was really interesting. They had real food not just burgers. And there was a buffet section that came free with your meal. It was ridiculous.

I wanted to stay in that warm restaurant all day, and the teenager told me I totally could but I didn't want to leave the girls wandering a park alone so after lunch I followed them around but was uninterested in the other rides. They were all kinda lame or closed and the teens just wanted to go back and forth from one big roller coaster to the other. I basically just followed and then sat at the exits, soaking wet and freezing.

Finally the girls were cold too so we went inside and shopped around in the 4,000 gift shops and we went on a carousel possibly 6 times because it was covered from the rain. I picked a pink horse and didn't move. No one was shocked.

I have never been so cold, wet, or tired in my lifetime. Finally after the longest and coldest hours of my life, the sun came out. I am not joking when I say that I found a patch of sun and just stood in it for the duration of the day trying to warm up. The girls rode some ride 15 times in a row so it was totally fine that I didn't move. On our way out, we buy waffles with chocolate (delicious and horridly messy) and finally get onto a bus to take us back home.

We get back to the apartment and I take the hottest shower possible. When my shower runs out of hot water (spoiler alert, within 10 minutes) I get out, sit and wait a half an hour for it to get warm again and take another steaming hot shower. I somehow made it out that night to WOS for the back-to-school party, but don't ask me how because I have no idea.


The pictures: Asterix sitting on top of a mountain, my pink carousel horse, other horses on the carousel, Siobhan and I in silly costumes at the back to school party.